"I've been having dreams about loosing my father for quite some time, every time I wake up from that dream I wanna forget about it quickly.. I don't know if I can bear it, How are we gonna live?.. each day that passes the reality of death becomes more real for me. I have the assurance of where I am going after this life and it's a better place, but thinking about my parents leaving before me.. I can't even put it in my mind.. it hurts so much. God has opened my eyes to this reality during summer last year
"Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away. -Psalm 90:10"
Yesterday God rang the bell again and remind me of this. My dad went to the hospital yesterday to just have a check-up but when he arrived the hospital they said that they he has to stay and they have to put tube in his lungs to take the air out. We weren't with him when he went to the hospital because we have to serve at our church.. when we arrived home we heard this news and I don't know how to react about it. I always thought that my dad is exempted to have serious sickness where they needed to put tube in his body. I always thought that my that is invincible because he can endures much and he's been really there for us every time we need him, even if he's tired he never says no to us his children.. I remember him saying when I was still in high school, I get embarrassed when he drop and picks us up at school because we're to old already..we can take the bus, he said "as long as I can drive, I want to drive for my family" and he has been doing that till now. But every human has their limits, our body gets weak every year.. this world is passing away.. and so does our earthly body. Our hope is to have that promised glorious body that we will receive in heaven and that there's no pain in sorrow and full of praising our Lord.
God has showed me how my dad cares for us, and how I should not take advantage his kindness and that I should give back to him. I stayed over with him in the emergency yesterday and just hearing him in pain while adding another tube breaks my heart. And I saw how my dad is really a good man even to other people because we know that there are so much prayer being lifted up for my dad and recovered earlier than we thought..
He still needs to go back after 5 days and check if the hole in his lungs closed. If not they have to do surgery, which he hope will not reach to that. I know there are so many prayer warriors with us so I have my confidence with our Lord. =)