Cool is Uncool

I was hurt by this one guy because I gave all my love to him without him knowing it. I wanted to look cool in front of him that I decided not to show that I love him so much. I hold myself on following him when he left me inside the bus and transfer to another when we had a fight. I wanna cry but I don't want him to see that I care. When he broke up with me with just a small reason I didn't try to get him back even if I can... I could've save our relationship but I acted cool. Instead of getting back with him, I look for another guy to tell him that he's not all that.We lasted only for a month but I have feelings for him for more than 4 years. He only knew my name when he started courting me but I already know his name for more than 4 years. No I didn't woo him.. I don't even know why he suddenly approach me.

After one month of our break up he contacted me maybe just to be a casual friend.. I was not over him but I wanted to show him I was. Then I told him our relationship was not serious so their should be no awkwardness then I asked him why did he broke up that time.. then he told me he just want me to come to him, kinda feel like he's needed, but I found a replacement so fast that's why he didn't renconcile with me.

OUCH!.. ouch! I wanted to beat myself up that time. I was watching Marry Me, Mary this week and Jung In told Seo Jun (Seo Jun and I kinda have the same storyline) "Your act of being cool made you lose your love one"... I'm paraphrasing as soon as they upload the english subbed for that episode I'll change this.

But I moved on already, He contacted me again this year and told me he was sorry for what he has done which by the way I didn't expect will happen. He was kind of a bad boy and I was also hurt by him in different areas but... I didn't know I hold grudges at him that time until he asked for forgiveness.

Anyway the lesson for me... don't act cool because in love you need to be stupid. hahahaha.. I hope he will not read this.. I doubt that he would know my true feelings.. only me and my readers will know about it. I wanna add a song related to my story but I can't find any. hahaha.. >.<